Sunday, May 31, 2009


40 years.

My parents have been married 40 years today. That's something, isn't it? I went to a wedding shower today for a former co-worker and she is so happy. It's been ages since I've been in the "wedding" state of mind. The last real emphasis on marriage was probably when I got married -- which was about the same time that the rest of my (admittedly few) friends were married. All the memories just rushed back. Each time my former co-worker cut a ribbon today I flinched, as I remembered the old tale that for every ribbon you broke, you'd have a baby.

I do remember that during my own showers (about 17 years ago), I made a concerted effort to break no more than 2 ribbons in all. That took some doing, considering the fact that we had almost 500 people at our wedding. ( read that correctly.)

Isn't it funny how we make such efforts to control our destiny? It's almost cute - as we convince ourselves that the ribbons we cut or the china for which we register is what truly determines our future. Life is so much more than ribbons and china. It's BETTER than that, of course...but it's also much, much more difficult than that.

I'm enjoying this small foray into matrimonial remembrance because my next big dose of lace and cake might be my own daughter's wedding. Or that of her friends. I'd like to think that she'd wait for a few more decades, but the truth is that she's probably too much of a romantic to wait. Just as I was.

In the meantime, I have to admit that I LOVE "love." It's fabulous. Difficult, crazy, and unpredictable (of course) - but really it's what life is all about, right? If I had one wish for my children, it's that they will know love. As much as I want them to have academic and even professional success, it pales in comparison to my hope that they find true love. I suppose love doesn't pay the bills. But it makes everything else worthwhile. You don't even care about the bills if you don't have love.

Ok - I admit it. Now I'm sounding like the Beatles.

But they did have a point, didn't they?

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