Sunday, December 27, 2009
My in-laws' house is very nicely put together with many decorative items. Every book, picture, etc is in a certain place to create a certain effect. I get the impression that my son understands that concept (I don't get it but am impressed with people who do) and quietly seeks to "improve" the effect here and there. He's never mentioned this to me but I want to set up a hidden camera or something the next time we're here because I'd love to watch his face while he's re-arranging so I could try to understand what he's thinking and feeling.
Apparently he has some strong opinions about how things should look. He gets that from his dad, not from me. I have absolutely no eye for this stuff, but whenever I need a picture hung or something like that - I'm impressed with my husband's ability to know what will look interesting. I told everyone that, for all I know, my son is also re-arranging things in my house but since I don't really do anything intentionally, I would never notice if something changed. He could probably move furniture and it would take me a few days to notice. I think my daughter is like me. She's too busy reading or listening to her new iTouch to even notice what room she's in, much less whether a particular vase is set up in exactly the right place.
Every once in a while I get a decorating idea and it's not too bad. But I can't pull it off by myself - I have to describe the general concept to my husband and he knows how to put the details together to make it work. Colors are very important to me - they really set my mood. For example, I knew that I wanted our bedroom to be a soft, nature-y green but left it to him to pick the exact color of paint and type of granite for the bathroom. It's pretty good teamwork, to tell you the truth. After this visit to my in-laws, I realize that there's this whole other person in my life who could help me with this stuff. Cool. My daughter and I need all the help we can get. I guess in our family the girls will be in charge of the "internal" issues and the boys will cover the "external" issues.
Friday, December 25, 2009
For about four years now, my daughter has worn a Santa hat every day for the week or two before Christmas. She thought it was a cool and different thing to do and she liked all the attention and laughs the hat brought her when she started wearing it to school. I love the fact that she wants to be different and express her personality. (She also insists upon wearing non-matching socks and has done so for at least 2 years now....it's another great thing that makes her special.)
Last week, I told her how much I liked the fact that I completely identified her with the Santa hat now. She looked at me and simply said: "I know. It's my trademark."
Maybe I'll ask her to help me come up with a trademark of my own this year. After all - the marketing gurus all say that a person should try to develop his or her own "brand." I've never had any idea what my "brand" is - but I think it's great that my 10 year old has a clear sense of herself. She's the Santa girl with the fun, funky, non-matching socks.
Saturday, December 19, 2009
It was, occasionally, Napoleon Bonaparte who was within earshot and he never liked anything she had to say. As a matter of fact, I have the distinct impression that he didn't deem it worth his time to listen to anything women had to say unless it was about motherhood or being a wife. It's been very interesting to read this book because I'm learning a lot more about the Napoleonic era and the downfall of the French monarchy. I'm not at all a big fan of Napoleon and I find myself cringing on Mme. de Stael's behalf because the mistakes she made are PRECISELY the kind of mistakes I make.
She walked around with her heart open all the time, throwing herself into friendships. Some of the friendships were worthwhile and brought her joy but some were destructive. She was also the epitome of the high-maintenance woman.
On the whole, however, I must say that I would love to be more like her. She wrote and acted so well that people all over (except for Napoleon) adored her for her gifts, she loved and taught her children very well, and she truly went after what she wanted in life.
But she was always prone to sadness. I think many sensitive artists are - I honestly don't know how you can avoid melancholy if you look at the world through sensitive eyes. Even with sadness as a consideration, I still wish art was a bigger part of my creative energies. It would be so much more satisfying than the practice of law!
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
As I'm sure you can tell from that introduction, today is a travel day for me. I'm off to Virginia for a short business trip. Ugh. I'm not tremendously fond of airplanes. I guess they lost their glamor once I had to start traveling for work. Or...maybe it was when I had to start taking off my shoes and showing the security guards my shampoo.
Stupid shoe bomber.
At any rate, I was already homesick as I drove to the airport BUT I'm trying to look on the bright side of the situation. The bright side is, of course, the fact that I should be able to sleep more than I would if I was at home. At home I'm doing dishes, laundry and various Christmas/Choir/Cub Scout duties until at least 9 every night - so by the time I start to settle down, it's late and I can barely remember my own name. During my trip, it's just me, my book, and my laptop. I couldn't do laundry and school lunches even if I wanted to do them.
Which I don't.
So I'll read, maybe plan out my grocery list for the weekend, and then sleep. I'll also remember that next week is a 2-day workweek for me.
And all the people said....AMEN.
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
I just can't help being drawn to her character and I suspect she's got a lot to teach me.
At any rate, the movie is apparently 70 years old now and I feel very vindicated for my feelings about the book, the movie, and Scarlett herself after reading this commentary.
(By the way - I feel the exact same way about Breakfast At Tiffany's and the character Holly Golightly. I guess I don't like my heroines to be flawless. I just want them to be real and searching for love.)
Sunday, December 13, 2009
Afterwards, we rushed the kids through Borders (if they had their way, they'd LIVE in the bookstore...just like I would) and watched the fireworks. It was definitely one of those nights I wish I could hold onto forever.
I suppose I'm acutely aware of the fact that things do change and people do leave us. My parents were in town because they attended a funeral in San Antonio earlier in the day. Perhaps it's a combination of that, of the fact that two of my dear friends have mothers who are struggling with the final stages of breast cancer, and the fact that my children are no longer babies...but when I think about my parents I am stunned.
Being a parent is the scariest thing on Earth and I believe we make our biggest mistakes as parents (I know I have) but hopefully we find the greatest joy in that role and, ultimately, the joy overcomes everything else. I don't know how my own parents have done it for forty decades, but if they can do it - it gives me hope that I will ultimately find my way.
Someday I hope I'm watching fireworks with my own grandchildren and remembering how far we've all come as a family.
Saturday, December 12, 2009
I found this very interesting. I've had pretty serious writer's block whenever I've worked on my fiction. Who knew that I just needed to revert to my "true" age?
Thursday, December 10, 2009
Wednesday, December 9, 2009
It cracked me up - if I wasn't clear about the consequences of having a 6-year-old son before, I sure am now. So I had to take these pictures with my Bberry. As my husband saw me doing that, he asked if our son had told me why the army guys were there.
Um, no. (They were placed there intentionally????)
Yup. Apparently they were in my bath to scare me. I cracked up and had fun telling my little Rambo that his army guys seriously surprised me. He loved it. So I guess there's no telling what I'll find in my bath tomorrow night. I can be a good sport about most things, as long as they are not ALIVE.
Sunday, December 6, 2009
I'm probably close to that...but the funny thing is that I'm very much at peace. I posted on Facebook the other day that I've found this odd sense of peace in the sense of chaos. It is, perhaps, pure survival instinct - but whatever it is, I'm grateful for the fact that I'm able to find a sense of myself in this wild schedule.
I can state with certainty that I do NOT want to face another December like this one. Although...I'm not sure I have much of a choice. You see, I won't deny my kids experiences that they really want to have and there's the added complication that I'm trying to grow professionally myself. A friend of mine has sent me a few emails about a holiday party I should attend to meet some local assocation/non-profit professionals. It's a great idea but I can barely find the time to check my calendar...much less schedule the event and shell out the $50 for the lunch. In other words - December is clearly the month when the entire world decides to start being social. It's quite exhausting, to tell you the truth. Between the regular events (cub scout den meetings, choir practices) and the special events (work parties, events with friends) - it becomes rather obvious that one is not supposed to think, sleep, or eat normal healthy meals during the holidays. One is only supposed to purchase gifts, mail them, attend children's parties/concerts, and (maybe) figure out how to make the season special for one's family.
Is anyone else feeling this way? I hate to be the poster girl for "Misery Loves Company" but I have to admit that I truly hope I'm not the only person struggling to make sense this month.
I resisted buying most of the things I wanted to get, however, because my splurge was $75 to rent a victorian dress for the weekend. I hit Lucy in Disguise (a really fun Austin place on SoCo that I'd never explored...which is truly shocking for me considering I simply live to act and play dress up) and I'm so glad I did. My daughter and I got some sweet Victorian mom and daughter pictures, plus I was in heaven hoisting that dress all over the place. (It was WAY too long for me. Really, it's quite hard for me to rent things like that because they have to make them for people of normal height.) You can't see all of my dress in any of these pictures - oops - I forgot to get a full length from the back. But trust me, it was great! (I made my hair clips late last night, along with a nosegay I pinned to my black evening purse. I felt like quite the sophisticated lady.)
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
But today I got a notice that Kiehl's is following me. WTF??? Seriously?!? I can only assume that this means Kiehl's ran some program where it hunted down emails of customers on Twitter. That seriously creeps me out. I guess it shouldn't - but it strikes me as somewhat disingenuous. I mean - I feel quite certain that Kiehl's doesn't give a flying fig whether I'm in a business meeting or shopping for a ficus.
So...why are they following me? Stalking customers must be the new American marketing plan. Are they going to start driving by my house at night too?
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
Truth be told, I never really threw myself into that life. I only gave it a half-hearted effort because it wasn't me. I knew it deep down but wondered if I could just force myself to start liking it if I kept at it. Nope. No way was that happening.
Then I had a baby. Well, that clearly taught me a whole new lesson about priorities.
During the course of the last few decades, I've "experimented" with putting different priorities first. I've tried work, I've tried career (two different things, in my opinion), I've tried parenthood, I've tried exercise/dieting (don't get me started on that one), I've tried my marriage (sort of - still working on getting that one right), and I've even dabbled with letting spirituality take a higher rung on my ladder-o-priorities. It dawns on me that, perhaps, I need to have a few top priorities that just take turns at the top. Kind of like a dance, I take turns spending time with each priority as it needs my attention. Imagine a square dance...or, in my case a mosh pit might be a more accurate comparison. The dancing happens - things are accomplished - but not necessarily in a coherent manner.
So, really, it's all cool. As long as I don't ignore the priorities in second and third place at any given moment AND as long as I don't put some totally screwed up priority at the top of my list (like, I don't know, deciding I'm going to throw myself at Alan Rickman's feet until he falls madly in love with me) - I should be ok.
The truth is, some days (like today) my top priority should just be "breathing." But right now I plan to go up and exercise to my Bollywood Booty DVD because exercise has been creeping back up to the top rung lately. Tomorrow's priority? Who knows....stay tuned because it might surprise both of us.
Saturday, November 28, 2009
As a result of that conversation, I decided to not let myself become sad about the things that are making me sad. To be honest, I didn't think that was going to work - it couldn't be that simple....but surprisingly it really seems to be. I'm not saying that it's a 100% fix to what ails me but for the last 24 hours, whenever I've found myself getting down, I've refused to go there.
There are a couple of surprising things I've noticed:
- I get a bit blue on a pretty regular basis (on average, about once every hour - it was more yesterday but it doesn't happen as often today)
- my spirit is, perhaps, a bit stronger than I originally thought it was in that I can refocus my mind towards a better place
- it's a HECK of a lot more enjoyable to be happy and enjoy life than it is to be upset about what's going on in my life
So - thanks very much to my husband (who is standing behind me as I write this) for pointing out the tough truths and giving me a chance to do a better job. 'Tis the season for joy, after all.
Thursday, November 26, 2009
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
Instead, I feel like blogging about bullies. You see, my girls (meaning my daughter and my niece) watched the Chrissa movie this afternoon and it was all about one of those "mean girls" who pushes others around. Yikes. I tell you what, I was a walking bullseye my entire life for those girls (and then boys later, but that's a topic for an entirely different posting). My girls have each faced it themselves this year and I was shocked at how upset I got while watching this film. It was as if all those years of being the un-cool kid came rushing back at me...and, to be honest, I started making associations with stuff going on in my current situation - getting bummed about feeling a little stuck where I am, thinking no one likes me - you know, the typical stuff for me. So I guess none of us ever completely grow up - we try to say that we're past all that kid stuff but maybe we never really are.
Luckily, I'm with my family and they gave me the obligatory raves about my mac and cheese. We even got to have an adult meal because all four kids are finally old enough to entertain each other. They entertain each other very LOUDLY but as long as we can let that go, then we get our own meal. That perked me up a bit. And tomorrow I'll be buried in stuffing and pies - so that'll be therapeutic for sure.
My mom loves to spoil her grandkids. Ok, she loves to spoil me too - she insisted on paying for my haircut today and if I hadn't cut in line and handed over my credit card really fast, she would have paid for my lunch also. My daughter and niece will each be getting the Chrissa doll tomorrow for absolutely no reason except that my mom wanted to give them the dolls. As a matter of fact, she recently made a freakingly enormous purchase from American Girl. Here are some of the boxes just sitting around her house. I don't even know what's in all of them.
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
This is a good thing because it is FOOD WEEK. Luckily I've completed a bunch of my Thanksgiving cooking already. There are two pies in the garage (not enough room in the fridge), cookies in the car, and a fridge FULL of frozen and cold food that will be packed into the cooler tomorrow morning. What can I say? I'm a southern woman - and I express my feelings best through holiday food preparation.
So....dear family....I've obviously got a ton of faults, but I hope you can tell that I love you when you eat my extremely yummy cornbread dressing, pumpkin pie, and chocolate pecan whiskey pie on Thursday. Stay tuned, readers - I'll try to remember to post a picture of the overburdened Thanksgiving table.
Saturday, November 21, 2009
Parts of the movie that I found scary, she didn't think were very scary. And we saw a trailer for a really sweet romantic movie that we both decided we needed to see.
When did this happen? I now have a young lady living with me instead of a kid. Don't get me wrong, she'll go see the new Disney movie with me at Christmas I'm sure (if for no other reason than to keep me company because I'm so excited about a new princess movie) - but there's no way it will supplant the Twilight movies in her mind.
I'm actually very excited to be at this stage of life - I know I'm lucky that she still lets me into her world a little bit and I hope I don't do anything to mess that up.
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
I began to wonder what I was avoiding because if I ever don't want to write, it's a clear sign that I'm avoiding an issue. To say that I'm feeling overwhelmed is the understatement of the century. There are all of these choices - all of these decisions to be made. Many of them don't seem that significant, at first glance, but the aggregation of the choices I'm having to make is blowing my mind.
I know, I know - I'm making it sound as if the fate of Western Civilization rests with my next decision when, really, I'm wondering what I'm going to get my father-in-law for his birthday and when I'm going to make it to the grocery store to purchase fresh herbs for my cornbread stuffing.
Plus, I CONSTANTLY worry that I'm not giving my children what they need.
I'm starting to get to a point where every decision, no matter how minuscule, becomes this crossroads in my mind. Perhaps A Prayer for Owen Meaney is starting to rub off on me....I'm starting to think that everything means something and I'm concerned about making the wrong choice. You know, worried that the one time I really do hit the baseball out of the park, I'll end up taking someone out with it. (Sorry to those of you who haven't read the book....I'm sure that reference escaped you.)
That's the word that is circling in my mind right now - it's all I can do for myself. Just bit by bit that's what I'll do. It will involve saying "no" more often than I'd like this holiday season, but I need to remember that by doing that - I'm saying "yes" to my kids and to me.
So....yes to me. Yes to me. Wow. That really sounds weird.
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
I don't like war. To be honest, who really does? No one who truly understands what it means and who is also truly human. But this morning, driving down the road, I thought about my wonderful life and then I thought about my grandad. Poppy lied about his age to join the military before he was 18 years old, and went off to fight Germany and Japan during WWII. I started thinking about what our country would be like today if Hitler had won. What a horrible thought. Truly, "horrible" doesn't even BEGIN to cover it. And because of Poppy, and many other men and women - my kids and I live a great life.
So thank you, Poppy. Thank you to my cousin (a tour in Iraq dismantling roadside bombs right after high school), and thank you to my uncle in law whom I never met because he was killed in Vietnam two weeks before my husband was born. And of course, of course...thank you to the men and women of Fort Hood.
Do you ever see the veterans on the street, asking you for a dollar? According to an NPR program I heard the other day, veterans are at a much greater risk for being homeless than those of us who have a "regular" life here at home. How could this be?
All I'm saying is that we don't have this great life because we are better people than others who suffer. We don't deserve this life more than kids in Africa who are forced into violence before they are 10 years old or more than women in the middle east who can't even show their face for fear of being attacked. They deserve it too. But we got it. From the pure dumb luck of being born in the United States.
So, thanks Poppy. I really do hope that someday the concept of war is gone for good. In the meantime, I'm going to remember that although I might not support certain policies or institutions, I will ALWAYS support the humans in uniform.
Sunday, November 8, 2009
I was cozy BUT I wasn't terribly fond of the cold. My husband and I slept on top of one sleeping bag (because we didn't have enough to go around) and I kept hypothermia at bay by wearing my hoodie to sleep. I was surprisingly happy, however, to have my whole family in this little space...I could reach everyone just by stretching out my arm. Somehow it felt very safe to know that everyone was RIGHT THERE. I liked it enough that I told my husband I thought it might be neat for the two of us to campout one night - we could drop the kids off at his parents and just sleep under the stars.
I think what I like best of all is waking up with the sun and the birds - I felt much more in sync than I normally do in the mornings...I have to get up early every day anyway - this makes me think it would be a good idea to start my day by stepping outside for a few minutes. I'll try to remember to do that tomorrow. It's a lot more comforting to be in rhythm with nature than it is to be in rhythm with the TV or even the coffee maker (although I don't know what I'd do if I didn't have my java each day).
Saturday, November 7, 2009
Tracey Ullman was Ally's shrink and she was great. I ended up getting free therapy by watching the show and it's been very helpful to re-watch it. Shrink Tracey recommended, among other things, that Ally get a theme song - not a moody, sad theme song (as I might be inclined to choose) but an upbeat song. So I did that. Back in 1997 I chose Oh-bla-di by the Beatles, and it's served me well ever since.
This time around I'm getting even more from Doctor Tracey. She's full of gems, including telling Ally that she can't believe what a "wimpy little thing" Ally is and telling her that she has the problem of not wanting to be noticed for her attractiveness (ok, ok - Shrink Tracey said "sexuality" - not attractiveness) but being upset when she's not noticed. She could be speaking directly to me...it's fabulous.
I've spent a fair amount of money on shrinks over the year and they really and truly don't work very well for me. They don't get me at all...really, they don't and I've never understood it because I don't think I'm all that complicated.
I'm not. Apparently I'm just Ally - someone who asks "what's so great about the real world, anyway?"
Saturday, October 31, 2009
If we know that we need to exercise and eat a healthy diet to prevent disease and look good - then why don't we do that?
And on that note, if we know that we feel pretty darn good after eating tasty, well prepared vegetables and pretty crappy after eating onion rings...then why do we go towards the onion rings almost every time?
If we believe in God, why don't we invite God into our lives...you know, for real?
If we love our kids and know that we only have them for a very short time, why don't we appreciate every moment we have with them?
If we love to do something (art, music, skydiving, macrame -- ok, I've never done that last one but surely it's a huge deal for someone out there) then why do we make excuses to keep from following our passions?
If we know that money doesn't make us happy then why do we allow it to control our lives?
The more I grow, the more I realize that the answers are right in front of me. I absolutely know how I'm supposed to live and it's not that hard. For some reason, I have to keep reminding myself of the truth over...and over....and over....
Friday, October 30, 2009
I called it: What I Learned From Meditation
The other day I tried what Yoga Journal refers to as the "I Want It So Bad Meditation." I think that's a pretty self-explanatory title.
In case you're curious, I've made absolutely no progress in sticking with an exercise routine. I know I'm in a cast, but there's nothing stopping me from making sure I do sit ups EACH night and doing some arm strengthening exercises also. Nothing, that is, except my feelings of intimidation with the idea of doing what I need to do.
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
Today I attended a surprisingly awesome conference. It was entitled Ethics in Government but, really, it was about much more than that. Every speaker was exciting and gave me tons to think about - as a matter of fact, I even came away with some plans to talk to my kids about ethics at the dinner table tomorrow night.
Former Lieutenant Governor Ratliff had an hour to speak, but he only chose to speak for about 20 or 30 minutes and left the rest of the time for questions/conversation. It took me a while to figure out how to phrase my question and I must admit that once I spoke up - I rambled much more than I'd hoped...especially in front of such a prestigious political figure.
I asked (in my own particular, stumbling way) for his opinion about the fact that we seem to hold politicians up to high standards of morality and put them on pedestals to such an extent that important issues such as the fact that social security will run out of money in eight years (which he'd mentioned himself as a critical emergency that no one in Washington would even discuss) are left completely out of the picture. I said it took me a while to figure out how to phrase the question without making it sound like I don't think ethics matters (I do) or without making it sound like I don't think fidelity in marriage matters (I do) - but those issues seem like such a distraction from what really needs to get done in this country. And isn't it possible that someone would actually be MORE ethical if he was allowed to just be human, and not be expected to be a god?
Or something like that. You see .... I do ramble on at times.
To his credit, Lieutenant Governor Ratliff really seemed to ponder it for a minute and thought hard. He said that it's clearly much easier for a politician to give a quick soundbite about the moral issues he knows his constituents care about than it is for him to talk about problems that don't have solutions - or at least don't have easy solutions. He then looked up at me, acknowledged that my reference to social security was exactly such a problem politicians want to avoid and then he said something along the lines of: "I can tell just by looking at you that you don't have a chance of ever seeing a dime of social security." I laughed, agreed and told him that I was putting as much as I could into my 401k.
Then he said that he knew he hadn't answered my question and apologized. I told him I supposed that the only real answer was for the constituency to demand that politicians face the real issues and not get sidetracked with figuring out who is holier. He said that's what it has to come down to and he hopes to see it in his lifetime.
I hope it happens that quickly. It took some guts for me to ask him a question in a room full of people and it took even more for me to take a position which could be mis-interpreted as supporting immoral actions. But I'm very glad I did and I feel honored to have had a conversation, even if it was just for a few moments. The best part of the whole experience is that it took me out of my Gen-X cynicism, at least for a little bit.
If I hide my head in the sand, then the folks who prefer pedestal politicians (you know, the ones who are having tons of affairs and taking bribes while singing hymns) are going to win.
I might be screwed out of social security for good. But if we can start paying attention to the real issues, maybe we can fix a few things by the time my own children retire.
Of course, I'm still not sure exactly what to do about it. The idea of really getting politically involved exhausts me. Seriously - it just makes me want to curl up into a ball and sleep.
And that's when I become Scarlett again. "I'll think about that tomorrow."
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
Tonight was the All City Honor Choir Concert. And, yes, my girl was up there. Looking all choir-y and grown up. (But still cute.) What really cracked me up was watching her before the concert began, when all the kids were visiting. She was gesticulating wildly as she conversed with the girl next to her. One of my best friends always used to say that if she wanted me to be quiet, she just had to tie my hands together and I wouldn't know how to speak. Apparently my kiddo takes after me in that regard. As a matter of fact, she was SO expressive that I could pretty much follow her conversation just by watching her hands across the gym.
The concert ended with one of my all-time favorite songs from my own high school choir days - The Battle Hymn of the Republic. I love it, love it - and am always ready to go off into battle whenever I hear it. It's very inspiring. I wish that they hadn't changed one phrase, however. It's supposed to say: "As He died to make men holy, let us die to make men free...." - I know that the phrase "...let us live to make men free" might be somewhat more appropriate for today's day and age but I am always moved to tears as I picture the brave union soldiers going into battle as they sing that song.
Now I have Southern guilt for writing that. Never mind. It is a good song though.
Saturday, October 24, 2009
Friday, October 23, 2009
Sunday, October 4, 2009
Saturday, October 3, 2009
Shianne, our segway tour guide from last night, recommended North Beach Pizza as the best pizza in San Francisco - so we gave it a try today. Boy, did she know what she's talking about - it's the best stuff I've ever eaten in my life.
Thursday, October 1, 2009
Here I am in San Francisco! The two pictures are of me looking at Chinatown for the first time and me slogging up one of the numerous hills. In boots. Which my husband warned me against doing but I wanted to have some semblance of style, especially if I was going to help out by carrying our tourist-y camera bag.
Saturday, September 26, 2009
Friday, September 25, 2009
Every time I look you in the eye.....
Thursday, September 24, 2009
Since you guys heard all about my adventures with the $15 Craig's List Chair, I figured I should show you the latest incarnation of my front porch. I recognize that, for the average southern woman, what I've accomplished here is absolutely nothing. But I have absolutely no design sense what-so-ever. Not even a smidgeon.
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
Monday, September 21, 2009
- I get it that when Life sucks (and it sometimes does) that it's temporary and that it's destructive when I try to "fix" myself so that I'm happy every single day of my life.
- I've learned how to be grateful to my "enemies" - or people who are just mean to me. (I know that one sounds weird - but trust me - it's amazingly liberating.)
- I understand that what I need for balance in my life isn't necessarily what other people need. I have to trust myself and love myself just as much as I love my own children. (Or, as one of my Yogi Tea bag notes said a month ago: "My head must bow to my heart.")
Friday, September 18, 2009
Thursday, September 17, 2009
Sunday, September 13, 2009
Friday, September 11, 2009
I've been wanting a cute wooden chair to go on my porch as a centerpiece for some plants (which I'm sure I'll kill within a week, but that's totally beside the point). I got this great idea from my babysitter's mom. She's super artistic.
Thursday, September 10, 2009
As a child I was only free
when I sang
when I swung.
Tonight I found a swing set in the back of a school –
…waiting for me.
I ran first, because I’m grown-up and must do such things to be healthy.
then I climbed on the swing.
I wasn’t as brave as I was as a child. I didn’t lean back nearly as far as I used to dare – but I did watch the clouds overhead before closing my eyes.
And relishing the breeze.
For three minutes I pretended to be a bird….
And I was surprised to see that it took twelve minutes for the swing to finally stop after I left.
It just kept going – as if those three minutes mattered much more than I thought.
And the swing didn’t want me to forget.
Monday, September 7, 2009
Sunday, September 6, 2009
Friday, September 4, 2009
District 9 did not agree with me.
It has a great message about intolerance that many people need to hear. I have my faults, but intolerance is not one of them.
Sadly this was a really rough week for me, full of sad days and scary nights...so...ending it with a violent movie was not what I needed. Oh, well.
On the bright side, I have now felt ALL of my emotions in the last 5 days! :) And I've even accomplished some good things in the process. There's always a silver lining.
Plus my husband told me I get to pick the next two movies (with our schedule it could take 6 months to see 2 more!). I'm thinking it will be silly chick flix and Christmas comedies all the way.
Monday, August 31, 2009
Saturday, August 29, 2009
Friday, August 28, 2009
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
Sunday, August 23, 2009
These are my pre- and post-baking pictures from today (although for some weird Blogspot Reason - the post-pics ended up on top). Bread a la Jenn.