Have you ever been so stressed and so overwhelmed, that if you really take stock of where you are in life - you think that you might honestly lose it? I don't just mean just lose it in the "Oh-my-goodness-I-must-make-time-for-a-pedicure" way but in the legitimate, "my-family-needs-to-make-sure-that-resident-mental-care-is-part-of-my-insurance-plan" way.
I'm probably close to that...but the funny thing is that I'm very much at peace. I posted on Facebook the other day that I've found this odd sense of peace in the sense of chaos. It is, perhaps, pure survival instinct - but whatever it is, I'm grateful for the fact that I'm able to find a sense of myself in this wild schedule.
I can state with certainty that I do NOT want to face another December like this one. Although...I'm not sure I have much of a choice. You see, I won't deny my kids experiences that they really want to have and there's the added complication that I'm trying to grow professionally myself. A friend of mine has sent me a few emails about a holiday party I should attend to meet some local assocation/non-profit professionals. It's a great idea but I can barely find the time to check my calendar...much less schedule the event and shell out the $50 for the lunch. In other words - December is clearly the month when the entire world decides to start being social. It's quite exhausting, to tell you the truth. Between the regular events (cub scout den meetings, choir practices) and the special events (work parties, events with friends) - it becomes rather obvious that one is not supposed to think, sleep, or eat normal healthy meals during the holidays. One is only supposed to purchase gifts, mail them, attend children's parties/concerts, and (maybe) figure out how to make the season special for one's family.
Is anyone else feeling this way? I hate to be the poster girl for "Misery Loves Company" but I have to admit that I truly hope I'm not the only person struggling to make sense this month.