One of my favorite bloggers had a good post about New Year's Resolutions and their complete and utter futility. The only way change works (and I know this but have tons of trouble incorporating the truth of it into my life) is if we take the change in tiny, tiny steps and pieces. This concept is particularly difficult for me, since I am drawn to drastic, dramatic actions.
Although there's nothing terribly wrong with drama (I hope not, anyway) - it's really only effective as a symbolic agent - not as the basis of a permanent change in your life. In order to change, a person has to be willing to look at his- or herself honestly and really see the truth about oneself. After that, the person has to look at the present moment and figure out what he or she can do right that very second to create a small change. Then they have to do it.
But that's only the beginning. The trick is that you've got to do the same thing day after day after day. It's like what my mom always used to tell me about marriage - you don't just decide one day that you're in love and you'll get married. Every single day for the rest of your life you have to wake up and re-commit to your spouse. You have to make that decision over and over or it will fade away.
I've made some major life changes in the past but those changes have started to slip away. It's discouraging to think that I need to re-do all that work but, on the other hand, at least I know I can do it.
All I can do at this point is think 24 hours into the future. If I go further, I'll get discouraged. So....my focus right now is on the fact that I'll be getting up at an absurdly early hour to make it to a boot camp exercise class tomorrow morning. I've just got to get through that class, I'm not going to think past that point until I'm there. I've got to stop making long term promises to myself and pay more attention to where I am right now.
I guess if I had to put my goal into words it would be that I will pay attention and make a difference in each moment. I'll always ask myself if what I'm doing at any particular moment is bringing me closer to where I want to be. If it's not - then I will change directions.