'Tis the Season

You think I'm a Christmas freak for putting this picture on my blog before Thanksgiving, right? Come on - admit it....

The truth is, I had a rough day and I came home pretty much emotionally drained. But when I finally made it upstairs, I found out that my husband had set up this little Christmas tree for me in our bedroom and I just about cried because it made me so happy.

You see, I've always wanted a Christmas tree in my bedroom so that I could fall asleep with it glowing away. So, on Tuesday (a day we took off work to go shopping for the kids while they were in school), I grabbed this tree at Target so that I could set it up in my bedroom. It's great to have it up now and it's interesting because as I type this post, I'm sitting on my bed and I can see the picture of the tree on my laptop screen and the real tree is in my periperal vision.

I'm in such a searching mode right now in my life. Tonight it really has me pondering what I need from Christmas this year. I've done Christmas so many ways throughout the years. Some years I've had the energy and stamina to be focused on making the perfect recipes and crafts. Some years I've been more focused on religious meditations. Some years the gifts have fallen into place and I've found the right thing for everyone on my list, but sometimes the gifts (or lack thereof) become the bane of my existence.

Tonight - as I look at this bedroom tree I've wanted from the time I was a child (when the dark first began to frighten me) - I realize that what I need this year is light.

I don't want glaring light that will make me squint or shade my eyes. That would be too much for me right now. I only need a few tiny pinpricks of light to soften the dark. The dark will never be extinguished, and maybe it shouldn't be, but a few tiny light-diamonds will keep it at bay. So this Christmas, I want soft light - on the inside and all around.