Thursday, October 30, 2008

Hotel Swag

I can't really explain this, but for some reason I am a SUCKER for hotel swag (i.e. - the little bottles of shampoo, conditioner, and lotion that you get at hotels). I REALLY like it when I'm at a nice hotel and get the fancy stuff, but I also keep the stuff from Holiday Inn if given the opportunity to do so.

Back at home (in case you haven't figured it out, I'm at a hotel right now) I have a basket which is simply overflowing with little bottles of stuff. In theory, these little bottles of hotel swag are meant for our overnight guests. We honestly don't have too many of those (can you blame them???) and even when they do come over (it's usually a set of grandparents who've been roped into it so we can go out on a date), there's only a 50/50 chance that I'll remember to set out a set of swag for them to use.

But something about these teeny little bottles makes me SO EXCITED (you may have noticed that about certain things, I am easily thrilled...oh- and in case you ever stay at the Hyatt Dulles, it's the most awesome hotel of all because they give you free travel toothpastes without you even having to ask for them...oooo!!!!). I must say, however, that the recent FAA paranoia about liquid explosives has really put a crimp in my style. You see, my handy dandy little ziplock-o-mini-bottles is often pretty full on my way to a destination. What, I ask you, am I supposed to do when I have an additional 3-9 bottles of hotel swag (depending upon the length of my trip) which must make it back to Austin? What am I supposed to do if I can't stuff those into my ziplock bag? The idea of leaving them behind is simply anathema to me (again...don't try to find logic in this obsession...there is none). I have honestly considered only traveling in clothes with pockets on the way back so that I can stuff little bottles of shampoos in my pockets in order to make it through security and, thus, "game" the system. When one considers the amount of intellectual energy I expend on figuring out how to get this crap home, one realizes that there is probably a clinical condition to describe someone who is willing to risk being labeled a shampoo-terrorist and sent to Guantanamo Bay so that she is able to bring a few extra bottles of shampoo home from a business trip. (Note: this crazy woman will most likely NEVER USE the shampoo that she is sneaking through airport security.)

On the off chance that this psychological condition has not yet been classified, I'm opening the floor to suggestions. The person who comes up with the best name for my neuroses is entitled to a month's supply of hotel swag.

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