Monday, August 3, 2009


I returned to Austin just a few hours ago - my husband's grandfather passed away last week and the funeral was today. I've been through a gamut of emotions and thoughts over the last few weeks (we knew the end was near) - most of them centered around the angst I feel about all of my own unresolved grandparent issues. Angst isn't really even the right word - it's much to weak for how I've been worrying about what to do and why life turns out the way it does. Not to mention my worry about what I could have done differently to change things.

You'll laugh, I'm sure, when you hear that I think it is (therefore) entirely appropriate that the first thing I did upon returning to my hometown (sans kids) was to see Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince before even going to my house. Because, after all - I have absolutely NOTHING on the family angst of that literary hero. Although it's a mythical story - in my mind they are the most true. Evil things really do happen and it is so, so tempting for most people to pretend that they do not. It's always the children and youth who are trampled by that conscious evil and wilfull ignorance.

Dramatic, I know. And in the meantime I must get up in the morning and go to work and pretend to be completely grown-up and undramatic. I can do it, though. Keeping with the theme of Harry Potter - I have very brave parents who've given me more love than most people ever receive. So....I'm not sure what I'm going to do about all my extended family issues - but thanks to mom and dad, I can at least take a few deep breaths and focus on what really matters - my own kids.

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