I've been neglecting my blog lately, but I promise I have good reason to do so. It just might be a while before I write much about it. Today, however, is an important day. My eldest is 11 years old today, which means (of course) that today is the beginning of my second decade as a mother. And that, my dear friends, makes it a blog-worthy day.
As I look back on my first decade, there are pieces of it that seem as if they happened to another person but then again - even some of those early baby months are so fresh in my mind that I can almost feel her in my arms as an infant, while I rocked her to sleep and imagined her as a teenager leaving for her first date. (Strange to admit it, but I was aware even then that my job was to help her grow up.)
Ironically, I'm going through a period right now of (finally....) growing up myself. It's been a long time coming and perhaps I'm very inspired to do so as my daughter prepares to enter middle school. She needs a strong and certain mom now more than she ever has in the past. I'm determined to be that kind of mom.
Right now I'm emotionally exhausted and just putting one foot in front of the other. So it really was a joy to look at my lovely daughter today and take a moment to appreciate who she is and what it took to successfully navigate our first decade. By the time we make it through the second decade, she'll be out from under my roof and figuring out her place in the world. In the meantime, I'll hold her hand as long as she'll allow it and be honest about the struggles I face in life - in hopes that she'll learn there's a way to tackle any obstacle in her path.
And, really - sometimes you always need your mom to hold your hand. During my commute home this afternoon, I spent 45 minutes on the phone with my own mom, talking through all my feelings and frustrations. She'll be entering her fourth decade of motherhood in a few years and is still pretty patient with my rambling emotions. I stood on her shoulders to reach higher in life and now I want to be a firm foundation for my daughter as she reaches for her own stars.
One decade behind me and I wouldn't trade it for the world.
During this next decade, I'll take care of myself, laugh as much as I can, and resist letting my mind go to the future and the past. The present is pretty awesome and I'd like to stay right here with it.