Monday, April 1, 2013

Ok....so I don't fit into a box. Now what?

I see that my most recent entry was an October 2012 post in which I berated my husband for pigging out on the Halloween candy. It's ironic to note that I'm writing this post the day after I pigged out on Easter candy. There seems to be a chocolate theme to my decision to return to my oh-so-neglected blog.

I've been pondering why I stopped writing and it really comes down to my urge to figure out "who I am" so that I'll have a theme and a focus...if not for my life, then at least for my writing. Am I a funny and sassy mom? (Maybe, sometimes...but not nearly so much as The Bloggess and Jen at PIWTPITT). Am I a poet? (Man...I wish, and maybe someday I will be but I'm not now. I leave that to my sister-in-law and best friend - those two poets are incredible.) I love to cook and I've posted about some of my adventures in the kitchen, but I'll never be Chocolate Covered Katie (my vegan heroine) and I wouldn't want to try. I'm totally satisfied with the accolades I get from my family when I feed them her recipes.

When I put myself out there for the Friday Fictioneers, it was an awesome experience. There's no question about the fact that all I really want to be is a writer. The more I've tried to search for the "real me" over the last year, the more lost and lonely I've felt. Sometimes I feel funny, sometimes I'm pensive, sometimes I'm self-righteously infuriated - but when I put metaphorical pen to paper, I start to feel like Jenn again.

I just realized it's April 1st...this isn't a joke, but maybe April Fool's Day is the perfect day for me to realize the absurdity of my efforts to pick a theme and stick with it. I'm theme-less and proud of it, baby.


1 comment:

Megan Willome said...

April Fool's Day is the perfect day for you to be blogging again, my friend.

And thank you, thank you, thank you for the kind mention here. I don't feel like a poet. I just love poetry. It's the only way to write truthfully about what's going on without revealing details.