Friday, April 8, 2011

Avoiding What I Want. Or What I Think I Want.

So, now I'm avoiding writing. I'm also avoiding playing the piano. And I still haven't joined a choir even though I know that's what I want to do more than almost anything else in the world and that once I do it the heavens will align and my life will be complete.

Ok. I don't really think that. But I do want to join a choir and stuff. And I'm not doing it.

I'm not too busy. Don't get me wrong. I'm very busy. Insanely busy. But that's nothing new for me and, really, in the big scheme of things I've been busier at other points in my life. I'm only working 25 hours a week (supposedly) for goodness sake. We have plenty of busy evenings, but we have a lot of nice, quiet family evenings and it's wonderful.

The truly odd thing is that for about a month I was playing the piano every single night. I spent a good 30-45 minutes practicing and even started every practice session with scale-type hand exercises. It was very disciplined and systematic. I got good at it very quickly and was playing easy versions of Beethoven within a week - feeling very proud and fulfilled.

So, let's review. I was happy about what I was doing and (significantly) I felt very successful about it. My family was proud of me and it calmed me down better than wine. It was 100% good for me. It enriched me on a very deep level.

Then, out of nowhere, I started avoiding the piano like the plague. I know that about six of you read this on a regular basis because you email me comments and sometimes you post. You guys know me - so I ask you...what's up with me? I have some theories but I don't even want to post them at this point because I'd prefer to hear your ideas.

Once we get the piano question figured out, I guess I can tackle the writing and choir issues - but I suspect they are strongly related to each other.

1 comment:

JennInAustin said...

I've received quite a few great email responses for this post. I asked permission to post this one because it cracked me up and made me smile. If any of my other email-commenters are willing to have their responses posted anonymously, let me know! (I can always delete identifying names....)

"You have been responsible for a long time. Sometimes it just feels good to do whatever the hell you want. No one can make you play the piano, so don’t. If you want to, you’ll do it on your own timetable.

Now, about the word “pianist”. It has been on the radio a lot because we are having an international jazz piano contest here in Indy sometime soon. So the other day, I have the radio on low, and I keep hearing “penis”. And I thought that was weird. So I turn it up to discover they are not, in fact, discussing genitalia, but musically gifted people (who do turn out to all be men). So now I am on a campaign to change the pronunciation from “pee-un-ist” to “pea-ann-ist”. I think it is going to catch on."