Life Changes...

Whoa...how does this happen? I know I'm sounding like some old woman here (and, according to my children, I'm sure that would be an apropos description...) but how did time fly by so fast? I was hunting for some old (and I mean OLD) family photographs of our Irish ancestors for my daughter's school project and I ended up looking at toddler pictures of my girl. I tell you what...there were a couple of things that just jumped out at me about those ca. 2001-2002 pictures:

1. She has the exact same smile and personality that she always had.
2. She was really cute.
3. I was really un-cute at that particular point in time.
4. Oh - and I have no idea where those freaky pictures of our starving Irish ancestors went...no luck on that front.

Right now - she's across the street. We just let her go over - trusted her to do that. I suppose it's no big deal to let your 9-year-old cross the street by herself to hang out with a friend (even if you are a little weird, like I am...) but there is something about that happening while I was looking at these old toddler pictures that just hit me RIGHT IN THE HEART. It's good though - you know, it makes me wonder what my parents think as they see me come home for the holidays with my own (wild and crazy) crew. Do they remember me as a 3-year-old with curly brown hair? I bet they do...and I wonder if they compare me to my kids?

Everyone tells you to cherish the moments - because they go so fast. But what they don't tell you is that sometimes you just can't cherish the moments while they are happening - it's only after they are gone that you realize a beautiful thing passed through your life.

Here's our tree. If you know where our house is, you should drive by one evening in a few weeks after all our lights are up on the outside - it's so cozy and beautiful!

As I looked at the ornaments I've received over the years (primarily from my grandmother) and I pondered the book I've been reading ("How to Find Meaning in the Second Half of Life"), I decided that I am now strong enough to reach out to some family members who are not part of my life. It seems kind of obvious to me now that I really think about it, but I'm a grown up and can now make my own decisions about how to be in relationship with others. (What a wild concept, right???)

It's my experience that many people feel they can only choose between extremes on many issues. We can be super-religious or we can be atheist, we can buy into the smooshy Hallmark versions of holidays or we can go off into solitude during the holidays. I know that I have a tendency to see things in black and white. But...I'm a reasonably intelligent woman and I've decided that I can define my own life and my own decisions. I'm sure I'll slip up a few times on the way -- but in the meantime, I'm going to reach out and take some risks. As a matter of fact, I plan to write a long letter to my grandmother, telling her what happy memories I've had looking at these ornaments. As my blog audience, I'm counting on you guys to ask me about this in a few days - to see if I've really written (and mailed) the letter. Ok?

Thanksgiving

When I saw the football sitting on the table (after the boys had thrown it around for a while) with the flowers and the pies, it seemed like such a perfect Thanksgiving picture that I had to take it. I spent a good amount of my afternoon "stalking" the kids. They were having fun down the hill, in the woods, creating secret forts and it was fun to just eavesdrop on the kid conversations and try to catch glimpses of them through the trees. (That's why I'm standing on the chair - trying to get a better view.)

My pies seemed to be a pretty big hit - especially the chocolate pecan pie. But the highlight of my day was when I lying on the floating dock and I could close my eyes and feel the waves rocking it back and forth. Although later in the day, when I dozed off (in a bed) I kept dreaming that I was sleeping on the dock and was waking up right before I was about to roll off into the lake! (It apparently made quite an impression on my subconscious.)